This time of year is usually my favorite, and honestly how could it not be. The weather has been pretty decent, everything is decorated in beautiful white lights, and not only is Christmas just right around the corner, but so is MY BIRTHDAY!! However I can’t help but feel like a Grinch. I am semi excited because of all the things I listed above, however I’m not as excited as I was last year or the year before that.
I’m assuming the reason I’m feeling so down is because I won’t be able to visit my family back in Alberta this Christmas. Spending the entire summer with them really made me realize how different things are not having my parents around all the time. I live with family here in Toronto so I’m not extremely alone or anything, but I really do miss all the time I’ve spent with my parents and my little brother. This is the first Christmas that I won’t be spending with them and it kinda hurts, mostly because it makes my brain wander to thoughts like “How many other Christmas’ will I miss?” or “will my little brother feel neglected because I didn’t come home for the holidays?” Of course the answers to these questions are a lot worse in my head than they are in real life, but nevertheless they do weigh very heavy on my conscious.
Although I’m a total Scrooge, I must say the Christmas market was very beautiful. Being around so many people with Christmas cheer kinda puts you in the mood to sing a carol or two. They were serving these things called Chimney Sticks (which is basically a circular sugary stick of dough), shortbread, and giant turkey legs haha. Cute little couples wandered around with their dogs, giving each other little kisses every now and then, (which was super cute btw, like cringe worthy cute). There was even a merry-go-round and a Ferris wheel! It’s was a very magaical setting and if I wasn’t such a bitter little lady, I would’ve enjoyed it Sooooo much more haha.
Good ol’ life has hit me with a couple of curveballs and I couldn’t quite keep up. Some of them have been great and others have not been so great. I’m starting to question my time management skills and I’m wondering if I’m really capable of “doing it all”. When you have a lot of things on your plate, it’s kinda hard trying to keep them all in perfect order. At the moment, I’m really trying to focus on school, I only have 2 weeks left and I gotta put in some serious hours in the library. So if I end up missing in action for another month it’s because I’m trying to balance my plates, I swear; I'm not quitting on you guys.
I'll still be extremely active on Instagram (considering it's my second home), so don't be a stranger! && try to send some of your holiday cheer my way! Haha I need it. I hope you guys are enjoying the holiday season, and I hope you're all feeling lovely. Thank you for listening/ reading this very long holiday sap story of mine.
with Peace and Light,